This post is just a position setter. This blog is essentially in hibernation.
Friday, September 16, 2016
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
To Be Continued
I'm thinking again about borders and boundaries. I was having a long and lovely conversation about our lives, exterior and interior, w/ a friend at a marvelous new little cafe, when I found myself again asserting that I don't believe God uses force, and that I prefer permeable and flexible "boundary markers" over "walls." Yet, as I was expressing what I consider ideal, I realized that I recognized there might be worthy exceptions to this and that I would like to gain clarity on this topic in the coming decade. Laughter. Notice I'm giving myself a whole ten years to figure out this facet of healthy relating!
But before entertaining exceptions, I'd like to examine more closely why I believe God doesn't use force, or prefers to not use force. Where, how, and why did I get this idea?
But before entertaining exceptions, I'd like to examine more closely why I believe God doesn't use force, or prefers to not use force. Where, how, and why did I get this idea?
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
My Musical Preferences
Dear Leo,
Even though I am a musician, I am not fond of all types of music, nor all genres of presentation. I have found I prefer music without words, artistic compositions more than popular works, symphony or ballet (and a few operas) over theater or musicals, sacred over secular, nuanced more than dramatic, solo more than ensemble, contemplative more than directive, quiet more than loud, engaging the interior world more than the extroverted.
I find that many people who are not musicians are often surprised to learn of musicians who don't love all music (but then they also tend to be people who prefer anything popular and contemporary over all else). However, if they really thought about it, wouldn't they realize that the more a person knows about, experiences, and works with something, the more detailed and refined their particular preferences will be? It doesn't mean I can't find something to appreciate in nearly any musical expression; for my education has helped me develop tools (ways of listening, thinking, analyzing) that make everything more accessible to me. What seems to be less obvious is this: I will also know myself better, and what my true preferences are, and why, and how that is good! Just as there are some (usually novice music-majors) who think it's the highest form of enlightenment to find what's lacking in every work without connecting with what moves them (a mis-use of critical thinking); I think it's equally dishonest and immature to think we must find equal value in all styles, genres, etc. I.e. my broad (and educated) appreciation for any musical expression allows me to choose my own preferences because I am freed from a passive dependence on the preferences of my social milieu.
Because of this view, I know there are some (many?) who would label me as "elitist." I could be. However, I know people who have similar views as mine but also have great disdain for any "lesser" view and are even dismissive of persons who dare to express their love for something "lesser." Contrasted to that, I simply recognize that my passion for my chosen particulars is equally legitimate to anyone else's passion whether theirs be more or less diverse/inclusive than mine.
Truly enlightened "tolerance" will positively value (not just passively accept) the diversity of individuals' varying preferences, and does not expect nor attempt to force conformity to one homogeneous preference for everything!
Thanks for listening!
~Mack
Even though I am a musician, I am not fond of all types of music, nor all genres of presentation. I have found I prefer music without words, artistic compositions more than popular works, symphony or ballet (and a few operas) over theater or musicals, sacred over secular, nuanced more than dramatic, solo more than ensemble, contemplative more than directive, quiet more than loud, engaging the interior world more than the extroverted.
I find that many people who are not musicians are often surprised to learn of musicians who don't love all music (but then they also tend to be people who prefer anything popular and contemporary over all else). However, if they really thought about it, wouldn't they realize that the more a person knows about, experiences, and works with something, the more detailed and refined their particular preferences will be? It doesn't mean I can't find something to appreciate in nearly any musical expression; for my education has helped me develop tools (ways of listening, thinking, analyzing) that make everything more accessible to me. What seems to be less obvious is this: I will also know myself better, and what my true preferences are, and why, and how that is good! Just as there are some (usually novice music-majors) who think it's the highest form of enlightenment to find what's lacking in every work without connecting with what moves them (a mis-use of critical thinking); I think it's equally dishonest and immature to think we must find equal value in all styles, genres, etc. I.e. my broad (and educated) appreciation for any musical expression allows me to choose my own preferences because I am freed from a passive dependence on the preferences of my social milieu.
Because of this view, I know there are some (many?) who would label me as "elitist." I could be. However, I know people who have similar views as mine but also have great disdain for any "lesser" view and are even dismissive of persons who dare to express their love for something "lesser." Contrasted to that, I simply recognize that my passion for my chosen particulars is equally legitimate to anyone else's passion whether theirs be more or less diverse/inclusive than mine.
Truly enlightened "tolerance" will positively value (not just passively accept) the diversity of individuals' varying preferences, and does not expect nor attempt to force conformity to one homogeneous preference for everything!
Thanks for listening!
~Mack
Friday, September 21, 2012
Free-Fall
Dear Papa,
I'm SO lonely today. And I know this hole in my heart is a lovely door for a gracious space where I can be w/ You, just Be, w/ just You. And yet I resist. I turn to music, I turn to social networks, I play w/ my pets, I think about things I "should" be doing. Lord, here I am. Slowly letting go of all the other stuff. Please take my paltry treasures and hold them for me, let me let go and free-fall into Your heart.
Here we go, Jesus! :)
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be
World w/out end.
Amen!
I'm SO lonely today. And I know this hole in my heart is a lovely door for a gracious space where I can be w/ You, just Be, w/ just You. And yet I resist. I turn to music, I turn to social networks, I play w/ my pets, I think about things I "should" be doing. Lord, here I am. Slowly letting go of all the other stuff. Please take my paltry treasures and hold them for me, let me let go and free-fall into Your heart.
Here we go, Jesus! :)
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be
World w/out end.
Amen!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Words
Dear Leo,
I'm trying to sort out why I have such ambivalence toward words! Clearly, I like using them! However, I too often feel misunderstood. Even when speaking English, I so often feel that others and I are not speaking the same language! I realize conversant speech, formal speech, and written language are all different uses of words. Regardless of the genre, I often find different meanings in words than what others intended, and my words often fail to convey to others what I believe they mean! It sounds like I'm making a bad choice w/ words, that the fault of failed communication is w/ me. However, I don't see it that way! I also don't believe the fault is w/ others. I really believe that human words can have so many meanings and subtle nuances that it really is the Norm to find various interpretations. I think the problem is that some interpretations are so much more popular (or so much more easily found) that many think that's the only way to understand, where-as my interpretations and perspectives tend to be of a minority. I think my relationship w/ words has much to do w/ being an INFP musician and of a mystic's life-view.
Really, given that I view language this way, it's surprising that I'm ever understood!!!
When something matters greatly to me and I want to communicate w/ someone who uses language differently, I guess I have to work harder to find ways to bridge the gap. Or maybe simply be more creative. Maybe I need to explore even more obviously different ways of using words. Like e.e. cummings did in poetry. Hmmm... I don't know if I'm gifted enough for that, but it's worth consideration!
More later,
Mack
I'm trying to sort out why I have such ambivalence toward words! Clearly, I like using them! However, I too often feel misunderstood. Even when speaking English, I so often feel that others and I are not speaking the same language! I realize conversant speech, formal speech, and written language are all different uses of words. Regardless of the genre, I often find different meanings in words than what others intended, and my words often fail to convey to others what I believe they mean! It sounds like I'm making a bad choice w/ words, that the fault of failed communication is w/ me. However, I don't see it that way! I also don't believe the fault is w/ others. I really believe that human words can have so many meanings and subtle nuances that it really is the Norm to find various interpretations. I think the problem is that some interpretations are so much more popular (or so much more easily found) that many think that's the only way to understand, where-as my interpretations and perspectives tend to be of a minority. I think my relationship w/ words has much to do w/ being an INFP musician and of a mystic's life-view.
Really, given that I view language this way, it's surprising that I'm ever understood!!!
When something matters greatly to me and I want to communicate w/ someone who uses language differently, I guess I have to work harder to find ways to bridge the gap. Or maybe simply be more creative. Maybe I need to explore even more obviously different ways of using words. Like e.e. cummings did in poetry. Hmmm... I don't know if I'm gifted enough for that, but it's worth consideration!
More later,
Mack
Monday, June 4, 2012
Much ado about nearly nothing
Dear Leo,
So it took me 45 minutes to disinfect the master-bath. I disinfected/cleaned the toilet, shower, tub, and sink, and their areas (surrounding counter-tops or tiles), but I didn't vacuum or reorganize anything (except the items around the tub) yet. I estimate it could take another 45 minutes to do all that to my satisfaction.
Re my fear of failure: to tackle the dreaded task wasn't so bad: I'm happy w/ the quality of my work even though I'm surprised that it took so long. I'm a little bit nonplussed w/ myself that I am putting off the vacuuming, but yet hopeful that after a bit of a break, I will resume and completely finish the larger task of "cleaning the master bathroom."
I think most people would think it a bit silly that I can spend so much time thinking about this kind of thing. I'm sure some would say "you could finish the job in the time it takes you to think and write about it!" While that may be true, it's a certainty that my back can't tolerate so much bending w/out a break. That's why I have to break up these "little" tasks into smaller bits. It's also one of the reasons I dread this kind of work; I like to avoid pain! It's also true that this kind of work, in terms of process, bores me. But really, who isn't bored by such? Is there anyone who gets excited about cleaning bathrooms? I think, surely, "menial" house-hold cleaning is one of the most Christ-like (sacrificial) of services!!! Heaven must be full of moms who made their house a home for their loved-ones.
It just occurred to me that manufacturers of cleaning products should add into their formulas scents that would be so appealing that people are eager to clean just so they can breathe the lovely aromas!!! (If that were even possible, someone would probably abuse it and the FDA would have to ban the product!) Sigh.
Well, this letter is terribly self-revealing, but I'm sending it anyway. Thank you, Leo, for being such a safe confidant!!! ;)
~Mack
So it took me 45 minutes to disinfect the master-bath. I disinfected/cleaned the toilet, shower, tub, and sink, and their areas (surrounding counter-tops or tiles), but I didn't vacuum or reorganize anything (except the items around the tub) yet. I estimate it could take another 45 minutes to do all that to my satisfaction.
Re my fear of failure: to tackle the dreaded task wasn't so bad: I'm happy w/ the quality of my work even though I'm surprised that it took so long. I'm a little bit nonplussed w/ myself that I am putting off the vacuuming, but yet hopeful that after a bit of a break, I will resume and completely finish the larger task of "cleaning the master bathroom."
I think most people would think it a bit silly that I can spend so much time thinking about this kind of thing. I'm sure some would say "you could finish the job in the time it takes you to think and write about it!" While that may be true, it's a certainty that my back can't tolerate so much bending w/out a break. That's why I have to break up these "little" tasks into smaller bits. It's also one of the reasons I dread this kind of work; I like to avoid pain! It's also true that this kind of work, in terms of process, bores me. But really, who isn't bored by such? Is there anyone who gets excited about cleaning bathrooms? I think, surely, "menial" house-hold cleaning is one of the most Christ-like (sacrificial) of services!!! Heaven must be full of moms who made their house a home for their loved-ones.
It just occurred to me that manufacturers of cleaning products should add into their formulas scents that would be so appealing that people are eager to clean just so they can breathe the lovely aromas!!! (If that were even possible, someone would probably abuse it and the FDA would have to ban the product!) Sigh.
Well, this letter is terribly self-revealing, but I'm sending it anyway. Thank you, Leo, for being such a safe confidant!!! ;)
~Mack
Just Begin
Dear Leo,
Whenever there is something on my mind that I feel/know I must do, but don't want to, if I avoid beginning, my ability to focus on doing anything at all (even things I want to do) is thwarted. So why do I procrastinate? I suppose because ambivalence is stronger than my sense of duty! Hmm... Do I like fostering ambivalence? Not really. As I examine this thought process I realize I also have a great sense of fear. What is it I fear? I'm afraid I won't be successful w/ whatever it is I feel obliged to do. Is it really that I fear I can't do it? No, it is that I fear I won't measure up to doing it as well as I think it ought to be done. Wow. This is a tremendously strong fear in me. However, the teacher in me responds w/ compassionate sympathy yet persistent encouragement to "just do it." "Begin. And as you proceed, trust you will improve." Okay. I'm going to take one thing I've been avoiding today, and simply "begin." I'll get back to you later on how it went. Thanks for listening!!! :)
~ Mack
Whenever there is something on my mind that I feel/know I must do, but don't want to, if I avoid beginning, my ability to focus on doing anything at all (even things I want to do) is thwarted. So why do I procrastinate? I suppose because ambivalence is stronger than my sense of duty! Hmm... Do I like fostering ambivalence? Not really. As I examine this thought process I realize I also have a great sense of fear. What is it I fear? I'm afraid I won't be successful w/ whatever it is I feel obliged to do. Is it really that I fear I can't do it? No, it is that I fear I won't measure up to doing it as well as I think it ought to be done. Wow. This is a tremendously strong fear in me. However, the teacher in me responds w/ compassionate sympathy yet persistent encouragement to "just do it." "Begin. And as you proceed, trust you will improve." Okay. I'm going to take one thing I've been avoiding today, and simply "begin." I'll get back to you later on how it went. Thanks for listening!!! :)
~ Mack
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)